taking the wholehearted pledge
My Friday morning yoga book club is currently participating in Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly online read along and we are so freaking on fire and inspired by it. Just reading the preface and intro felt like a much needed kick in the pants to begin living more intentionally and authentically; no more judgment. Well…it’s impossible to let go of judgment altogether, because judgment comes with the human experience…but the idea is to focus less on what others think and more on living wholeheartedly (a huge piece of this book). Brené outlines how to do this so perfectly:
Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
~Brené Brown (2012, p 10)
Hot fucking damn. That’s exactly what I want more of; courage, vulnerability, and wholeheartedness. So, without sounding like a book report, I offer here my pledge for living more fully and daring greatly (based on the “guideposts” for wholehearted living that Brené offers in the intro):
- I pledge to be more connected, engaged, and loving in my relationships. The people in my life mean the world to me, and I want to let them know that through my words and actions. I want to tell people why they matter to me, even if I sound like a crazy person.
- I pledge to take more time for play. Designated time without talk about work, money, or stress. No checking email or social media. No tv. No chores. Opening up to FUN. Stepping into the world and noticing how it feels to just be (insert deep sigh of relief here).
- I pledge to allow more mess in my life/environment in order to make space for creativity. The laundry and dishes can wait. I have a life to live. Living wholeheartedly and allowing vulnerability means allowing people to see me in my full messy glory. And the more I allow people to see me for who I really am (chaos and messiness included), the more I can be open to deep human connections.
- I pledge to begin taking more risks and thinking less about what people might think. There’s a lovely fierceness in being bold. I want to do what I feel inspired to do- break into dance in public, sing out loud, practice yoga on a crowded beach, ride my bike through puddles (you get the picture).
- I pledge to speak my truth, even when it’s scary or leaves me feeling exposed (within reason, of course). This is the whole “speak your truth, even if your voice shakes” principal. My thought is that if my voice is shaking or I’m experiencing fear, I’m closest to my truth. And when I squelch my truth, I’m letting myself down.
All of this, and I haven’t even begun chapter one. Hot damn. I love this book.
faded scars and all 
It’s taken me half of my life to realise that we only have the moment that we are living in and nothing else. I too have been trying to live in the moment, be honest as much as I can and give generously back because we all need to keep the cycle of giving going. You are doing it now with this wonderful post. I am thinking of taking up yoga if you get as much as you share here out of it 🙂
Woo Hoo! Yes to yoga! Truly- yoga has been such a blessing for me (body, mind, spirit). But I’m also a junkie for self help and anything that helps me to gain insight into myself and others. And…I’m always learning. What I love about Brene’s book is that it’s all about being realistic that we’re all imperfect, and those imperfections are not only fine, but AWESOME!
And our imperfections is what makes us unique individuals. We spend our lives feeling guilty and less than stellar when what we are aspiring for is a corporate ploy to get us to buy a dream. I feel so sad when I see someone aiming for something that won’t give them happiness. I used to be quite large (110kg) and lost a lot of weight. I arrived at my destination with the promise that the world was going to open up for me and give me everything that I wanted but the truth was, reality doesn’t care! Nothing like a major anticlimax in your life to make you stop and take stock of what reality is! Life is good. Life is NOW. We should all stop waiting for perfection because perfection is in the processes NOT the destination 🙂
Oh, how I love that, Fran! “perfection is in the process NOT the destination”- right on! I’m thinking about the expectations we place on outcome…I totally relate to your “anticlimax”. Don’t we all deserve a parade from time to time?!?
A nice tickertape parade with shards of shredded paper floating down lol! Yeh, we do, but I think that its up to us to give ourselves pleasure and we shouldn’t be relying on anyone else to fulfil our satisfaction quotient. I had to learn that the hard way! I don’t put the same expectations on husband 2 I can tell you! 😉
I love your pledge. I download the book a few days ago. Can’t wait to dive into it. X
Belinda- Are you joining the online read along? It’s fun to listen to the podcasts by Brene- and on her blog there’s a really good pdf of thoughts for while you’re reading along. I’m taking this on as my personal education in wholehearted living. I expect major changes (note that I talk about expecations with Fran in one of my earlier comments….).
I’m definitely going to have to check out this book, I love your pledge. In the last year I have been living in the moment, something I never did before. I was considered a Type A personality, always scheduled and running from the time I got up till I hit the bed. I had to be organized or I would have lost my head. Then the kids grew up and I had a little more time to myself, but I still kept myself very very busy. Last year I got rid of most everything I owned and moved to a tiny studio apartment by the lake. I began a garden and stopped making goals, or to-do lists. It’s been wonderful to wake each morning without an alarm and to know I can do anything I want, or nothing if that’s the way I want it. My relationships have gotten better and I’ve made new friends.
Way to go with being in the moment, Lois! Isn’t it funny how hard that is? And yet how freaking amazing it is to just take each moment as the gift that it is (said at the risk of sounding way too Pollyanna-ish). Whenever I take the time to live my life without distracting myself from the “shoulds”, I’m happier, less stressed, and more confident. That’s pretty miraculous- believe me!
I found that once I moved and had the outdoors to play in I no longer desired that fix of spending money. It is a less stressful and happier way to live
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