Our home is filled with pink blossoms- gifts of flowers and plants from friends, family, and loving co-workers. It’s nice to have these reminders of beauty and hope. Even the sky was a mix of all of those pinks last night when Mom, Tami, Irene and I enjoyed our dinner on the beach at Discovery Park- the same place I disrobed for the topless photos! It was a joy to walk the beach and pick up pieces of broken shells and glass, even a small sliver of bright blue tin that caught my eye. I think it describes so well how I’m feeling- like I’m being tossed around right now by the tide and smoothed by rough sand until my edges become beautiful and soft. The process is painful and yet necessary…

I had my first good cry yesterday morning in the shower- it’s not easy being reliant on everyone to do so much for me. I can’t wash my own hair, prepare my own food, or even get dressed on my own. Irene and mom have been sharing the duty of “stripping the tubes” that hang from my chest- the worst part of this experience. My skin is still puckered and shocked, and I’m a little numb and itchy at the same time. But despite it all, I do have some energy for walks and my daily exercises, and I’ve been laughing as much as possible to open my heart. It helps having the calls, emails, and posts of support, as well as some of those surprise visits from friends! Our home is filled with good love and positive energy, along with all of those blossoms, and I can’t tell you how much it helps- W

so crazy to think about just how changed my body looks and feels- I took my first shower yesterday after my mom gently removed the bandages. Even with the steri-strips, I feel fragile and vulnerable. I have to keep reminding myself that I feel amazingly strong and positive. Having tubes hanging out of my body, and limited range of motion is humbling, and yet it’s also a joy to find each day that I can do a little more and feel a little less of the pull and pain in doing so. I have MyReen to myself today, and am looking forward to having my face and body in the sun as well as a follow up accupuncture appointment. I so love having my friends stopping by with their smiles and surprised faces to see me up and around- what did you think?!? With all of the love that I’ve been surrounded with, I swear I could fly! Bring it on, you beauties! I’ll take all those powerful words you offer me- and the tasty food, of course! Our fridge is bursting at the seams and our bellies are happy and full. Much gratitude-

I just feel so loved, I can hardly stand it- it felt so terrific going into surgery knowing just how many people were holding me in their thoughts. The party was an incredible testimate to my amazing tribe. How blessed I am! So- I walked myself into surgery and plopped on the table (not what I envisioned, but I love that it was so wacky)- they put the I.V. in, and the next thing I knew, I was in recovery and on my way up to my room. My sweet Reen slept on a cot in my room, and so I was soothed and comforted by her snores throughout the night. Yesterday morning, as soon as the nausea went away, I was ready to go home. We left the hospital just in time to catch our patio sun, and I was able to soak in some rays before being sent to bed (Reen is quite a nurse these days). Mom and Tami (sis) made me the most beautiful quilt, and I’ve been resting under it since surgery. THANK YOU to Suza, Jenn, Gol, Ester and Katie Mae for your beautiful presence at the hospital- even though I may not have seen your faces, I felt your love, and I know it meant a lot to my family to have you there as a support. I couldn’t feel more loved or more full of gratitude!

So, as changed as my body is, my spirit feels alive and beautiful. Even with drainage tubes and bandages… bleck. W

News from Jane (around noon):

I just talked to Irene (then I missed a message from Wendi), saying that she had a relatively easy night and that she has opted to go home this afternoon! She is feeling pretty good, took a little stroll with ‘Rene, learned how to deal with the drainage tubes. She’s charging ahead!